Materialism, Alain De Boton, and Lessons from Sri Ram

I recently watched a piercing video by Alain De Botton on the impact of materialism on society. He started by asking the question of how people introduce themselves these days. It's something I have also noticed during most social interactions. Everyone, including peers and elders you meet, always starts by asking you where you work and what you do. They then mentally slot you into a particular category, and your answer defines if you will have deep, meaningful conversations or be relegated to a corner browsing your phone for Instagram updates. 

Most people these days are rarely interested in mutual interests. We rarely discuss books, art, or even cinema. Most discussions veer around real estate, stock markets, mutual funds, retirement funds, and sometimes the finest vintage of whiskey. Hence, you can see that a society where connectivity has multiplied is also the loneliest in recent history. The random stranger liking your picture on social media hogs far more mind space than the friend sitting next to you. 

This phenomenon of materialism manifests in multiple ways at the workplace. The first manifestation is when colleagues and friends take inspiration from each other and buy the newest gadgets, biggest houses, swankiest cars, and exotic vacations. It's not something people consciously do. It automatically happens because the capitalistic society has created this environment. 

The second manifestation of the materialism phenomenon is how people get treated differently based on designations and perceived contributions. Sometimes, the best and the most radical ideas come from the youngest team members. However, it's a challenge for them to get their voice heard because they are never taken seriously enough. The most common rhetoric I have heard in such scenarios is, "We have tried it before, and it does not work."

The third and final manifestation is leaders wearing their titles as crowns. When a reagent wears a crown, it's understood that you must fulfill all their wishes without any exceptions. However, most leaders are expected to practice servant leadership, focusing on serving and prioritizing the team's needs over their self-interest. Sadly, this is rarely the case. Most large organizations have a few extraordinarily technical and robust product teams that create the products sold to customers. These product teams are supported by various other teams ranging from HR, Marketing, Pre-sales, Support, Training, Enablement, Finance, and Services. Sometimes, the deliverables of these teams often conflict with the goals of other teams. You don't need services if your product is too easy to implement. You will receive fewer support tickets if you provide high-quality training, and customers may sign up for more minor services. Hence, in such scenarios, most leaders forget about servant leadership and are continuously involved in politics to ensure the relevance of their organization. Such leaders can never leave that title behind. They expect to be treated with a certain level of awe and obedience. They continue to carry the persona at home, in a restaurant, at the airport, and in other places where they engage with the world. The general sentiment you sense from them is, "I hope you know who I am." 

How do you live in this material world with detachment? How do you stay humble and exercise power when needed so others don't walk over you? How do you remember that you can switch between various roles, like an actor, versus being married to one single persona? 

Who else can we turn to but the one and only Maryada Puroshattam Sri Ram for answers?

The Various Disguises of Sri Rama

My guru Om Swami once said it's only a truly liberated soul who knows the right thing to do on any occasion. Sri Ram's life is a perfect example of this. The Ramayana is replete with occasions when any ordinary soul would be filled with moral dilemmas. Sri Rama champions Dharma on each occasion while playing different roles; hence, we call him Maryada Puroshattam.

Vinay Varanasi, the champion storyteller, talks about how Lord Vishnu took birth as Sri Rama to fulfill Ravana's condition that he can only die from human hands since he considered them unworthy of his attention. Maharishi Valmiki also carries this idea of Sri Ram as a human in almost his entire composition of Ramayana except for a couple of occasions. He is so overwhelmed while describing the birth of Sri Ram that he writes the following lines. 

After this revelation, Maharishi Valmiki shows Rama playing the role of a son, a husband, a brother, a warrior, a king, and the most perfect man. You can see Sri Ram's divinity by how others treat him and hang onto every word he utters.

Let's now look at some roles that Sri Ram played to perfection to teach us the meaning of Dharma.

The Son Who Showed the Path of Dharma

Ami Ganatra, the writer of the beautiful Ramayana Unravelled, describes the poignant scene where Sri Ram has come to explain his banishment to his mother and brother. She describes how both offer excellent reasons why he should not follow his father's orders and leave for the forest. Lakshmanvehemently suggests that their father has lost his wits and is trapped by Kaykeyi. They should imprison or even kill him for harming the interests of the citizens of Ayodhya. Ma Kaushalya is encouraged by Lakshman's tirade and tells her that she can forbid him from going and he cannot disobey his mother's word. 

Sri Ram understands their anger but is not swayed by his decision. He explains how Dashrata is not just their father but also their king and guru. Most importantly, Sri Ram says he does not remember doing anything to deserve this from his father or mother, Kaykeyi. If he was this close to becoming the king and now being banished, there is clearly a hand of destiny here. The only way to explore why destiny has made this choice is to explore it fully. 

Sri Ram's response corresponds beautifully with my guru's teachings that almost nothing outside can bother you when your inner self is at peace. 

Sri Ram did not speak like a god in this situation. He played the role of a son who knew precisely what his Dharma was and acted upon it.

The Lord Who Blessed Kevat

Kevat was a simple boatman who used to ferry people across the Ganges. When he realized that he was transporting Sri Ram in his boat, Kevat requested that he would like to wash the Lord's feet before Sri Ram set foot on the boat. When Sri Ram was curious, Kevat explained that he had heard that the dust from Sri Ram's feet turned a stone into a woman. Keavt was worried that if such magic dust touched wood on his boat, he would be unable to afford the care of the women that would emerge from it. 

Sri Ram appreciated Kevat's innocent faith and allowed him to wash his feet, thus washing away his sins. When they reached the other side, Sri Ram tried to gift Kevat a ring to thank him for his services, but Kevat refused, saying he could not charge someone in the same profession as him. Seeing Sri Ram's bemused face, Kevat gave the following explanation. 

Sri Ram was so overwhelmed with this explanation that he embraced Kevat and ensured that he was delivered from the cycle of birth and death. 

The Deliverer of Shabari 

The next role we see Sri Ram taking on is that of the Lord of liberated Shabari. Here, he does not pretend to be a prince or a king. Shabari's devotion ensures that the divine within him emerges fully to bless her. It's a beautiful and moving tale demonstrating devotion as the only currency for our relationship with the divine. 

Shabari is said to be a hunter's daughter from the Nishada community who had spiritual tendencies and went looking for a guru. She met the great sage Matanga and served him and his fellow ascetics with utmost devotion. The sage was so pleased with her devotion that he told her that Lord Vishnu would someday become Sri Ram and liberate her. Shabari waited patiently for eons and became a wizened old woman, but she always remembered her guru's words. Every day, Shabari collected the sweetest fruit and tasted each one to ensure Sri Ram would never encounter a bitter fruit. 

Her patience, sadhana, and devotion were finally rewarded when Sri Ram came to her hut. He sat patiently as she served him the berries she had already tasted. The following dialogue perfectly summarizes Sri Ram's love for his devotees. 

The King Who Gifted Lanka

My guru once explained how Sri Ram's grace is extraordinary. He said Ravana spent decades doing intense austerities to Lord Shiva and Lord Bramha and got the power to vanquish his brother Kubera and capture Lanka. Sri Ram simply gifted the same to Vibhishana when he was a refugee seeking Sri Ram's protection. 

Here, Sri Ram acted as a king who protected someone walking the path of Dharma. When Vibhishana arrived, everyone doubted his intentions and wanted to reject or spy on him. Hanuman advised Sri Ram differently. 

Sri Ram agrees with Hanuman's explanation and says he can never refuse anyone who has come seeking his shelter. He accepts Vibhishana and even coronates him to show he is not interested in ruling Lanka after defeating Ravana.

Summary

We started this article by discussing materialism and how people get attached to their work roles. We can see how easily Sri Ram walked away from his throne and played different roles during his life to ensure Dharma was always victorious.